breastfeeding is best for babies when you have milk!

breastfeeding hasn't come easy for the two of us. i had really wanted to breastfeed because of the health advantages - less allergies and less getting sick in general. i grew up sickly and with tons of allergies so i didn't want that for amori.

we told the nurses in the hospital that i would be breastfeeding, and i did what the prenatal classes told us - to breastfeed as soon as possible after delivery. the books and nurses said that she would not be hungry yet so we listened and figured she was crying all night just because she wanted to. but then Day 3 came. she was nursing for 5 hours straight, crying in between (me included because i was already bleeding and sore), and wasn't sleeping. aldo and i thought a pacifier was what she needed so i sent him to the nearest 24-hour store to get one because the nurses didn't have any! for about 2 days the pacifier worked.

our poor little munchkin had a temperature the following day because she was dehydrated - imagine being hungry and using up all your energy in the process. finally, the nurses gave her a bit of formula to bring down her temperature - and she finally slept for 4 hours straight.

little did we know at that time that it was all about hunger... none of the parenting books said anything about the fact that when newborns cry, it means they don't get enough milk! all the books said was that they don't get hungry much because their stomachs are as big as chick peas. hmph!

when we got home, the community health nurse visited us with her weighing scale - and we found out that amori had lost 10% of her birth weight, so our doctor suggested giving her formula as a supplement. and we did, so it brought her weight back up but she still seemed unsatisfied during feedings.

then we were told to go to the Vancouver Breastfeeding Clinic to see the specialists there. we were given medication and a tedious schedule of feeding and pumping to follow for the next 4 weeks to increase my milk supply.

fast forward to today, i still don't manufacture enough milk so whatever i get only acts as an appetizer for amori - her main course is still formula. the reward for the tedious task of taking the medicine every 6 hours, pumping, sterlizing bottles, and preparing formula for her succeeding feedings... she is now 10.5 lbs. and gives me a big smile after her big burp.

all this hoopla during our breastfeeding journey has given me emotional ups and downs. not only was i frustrated at myself for not knowing how to make her stop crying, i was also angry with the fact that much like my cervix that did not dilate, i couldn't produce enough milk too. in hindsight, it never occured to us to switch to 100% formula - either i'm a glutton for tedious tasks, or i am a martyr... LOL. all i realy want is for amori to grow up without food allergies and asthma like me. i'll do whatever it takes, even if it is the long route.

so no, breastfeeding isn't easy. it only looks easy in print and tv ads. LOL.