dear duke

this has been saved in my drafts folder for 10 months... but since duke is asking... it's time i clicked on the publish button.

*****

motherhood, epidurals, and dirty diapers are so different outside of the philippines. the once-universal truths we believed had to be shoved into the hospital waste bins the moment we were checked in. in retrospect, i've learned that:

...the childbirth experience is full of curveballs that you take one step at a time.

i thought i was going to have a predictable birthing experience... my vain worry was how i'd look while pushing, or if it would look funny if i wore colored socks. none of that ever happened. i never even had to put my feet up in the stirrups. the doctors did all induction methods but nothing worked. hmm... my reproductive organs must be as stubborn as the rest of me.

i thought i was physically strong enough to not have an epidural - but 4 hours after i was given oxytocin to speed up my labor, i was more than happy to see the epidural lady. LOL. but i wasn't prepared for the intensity of the epidural experience either... i thought it was just a jab in the spine... i didn't realize that it took quite an amount of concentration to stay perfectly still while my back was arched like a cooked shrimp, thru 3 strong contractions. the effects are worth it!

...the english language is not universal. somehow, describing pain and the consistency of discharge was quite difficult. i think it took me a lot of phone calls to different medical organizations - the BC nurse hotline, the hospital's maternity nurses, my doctor - before the people concerned actually acted on my complaints. in the end, i just went to my doctor and showed her my underwear. LOL.

...a c-section is really not that big a deal. sure you've got stitches and are drugged up to numb the pain but hey, nothing Tylenol 3 can't block. i couldn't believe it - in manila, moms get 6 f***ing hours in the recovery room after a c-sention. six. s-i-x. i spent 1 hour in recovery - and i almost wanted to cheat on the ice pack tests they did so that i could go back to my room and see amori!

...DIY is rewarding. just like Ikea furniture. rooming-in a newborn is a norm here so whether you can stand up or not after the birth is your problem. but there's nothing like first sleepless nights and meconium-laden nappy changes to make you realize you're a family now. it's a lot of hard work - not to mention i-want-to-strangle-dear-husband-for-snoring-too-loud moments - that will only make you better parents.

...the days in the hospital feel like a vacation compared to coming home. for one thing, meals are cooked for you! no dirty dishes, no pots and pans. plus all the hospital gowns, blankets, and sheets you use will be washed and folded by someone else! hmm for the laundry reason alone i don't think i'll be opting for a home birth in this lifetime!

...all first-time parents are confused. i cannot count the number of nurses we bugged for the most insane reasons - baby crying for a long time, black poop, bleeding nipples... which were, in fact, all a part of the newborn baby experience.

our birthing experience was great. tiring, sleepless, and painful... but great nonetheless. cliche as it may sound - all the bad stuff is wiped away by little smiles and giggles. i'm sure it would have been easier on me if i were back home - my family would have been there to help me out and let me recover properly. self-pity caused me gallons of tears from the day we went home from the hospital to 3 months after, but i wouldn't have had it any other way. after all, this kid is mine.