thankful

Swiped from The Stepford Wives
Posted by Hello

I thought Stepford Wives was a really good movie, but apparently it gets mixed reviews especially from men and married couples. Of course there's the big issue of power in a marriage - and it doesn't help that the insecurity of men is magnified here. But I do believe that it is to each his own - after all, it's just a movie. Production-wise, it was worth the movie ticket to see table centerpieces, living room and kitchen arrangements, and cupcakes that Martha Stewart would have been proud of.

A few months ago, I read about the reality of house husbands in Time magazine. Instead of husbands who feel like losers since their wives are relatively more successful in the business arena, these househusbands are proud and more than happy to take over domestic duties.

Call me naive or optimistic, but I do believe that marriages are all about striking a balance between partners -- and if it means men giving up something important for the women in their lives, they are the ones who have balls, as opposed to the men who ask their wives to stay at home, prepare dinner, and do the laundry.

Interesting enough, in Thailand I've noticed that women are automatically subservient to their boyfriends and husbands. Aside from the lack in public affection, Thai women serve their men more than the other way around. I have yet to see a husband get up from his seat to fetch his wife dessert from the buffet table. To top it all off, Thai women unconsciously compete with each other for Thai men (read about this in Breaking the Silence : Violence Against Women In Asia). Sheesh, talk about a patriarchal society.

I've had friends who, quite irritatingly, impose silly rules on their girlfriends (not even wives, mind you) such as no sleeveless blouses, no talking to other guys, no texting/calling other guys... and the list goes on and on. Even worse, a few men assume that when they get married, their wives will stop working in the corporate world, and start slaving away in the kitchen. Talk about insecurity in bold, capital letters. I never really understood the machismo concept behind it -- well not in this day and age. I quietly pray that these egotistical friends of mine get hit in the balls and wake up to the reality that imposing rules is never a good thing.

In all our years together, Aldo has never stopped me from doing what I wanted. When I decided to move to Bangkok, he asked me when I was leaving, and encouraged me instead of giving me a long list of rules to follow -- and he'd patiently listen to my sobbing when things got too difficult. He never dictated that I should give up my life as I know it, and move to Canada, but I (will) willingly do that (the Martha Stewart housewife bit is another story altogether).

For that and a hundred other little things, I am truly thankful I have Aldo.