thinking out loud

you know how some pregnant women ramble on and on about how much they love being pregnant while stroking their bellies? i'm at 35 weeks already and i don't think i have ever been that dreamy and tv-ad-ish about it. come to think of it, i don't think i have ever uttered the words "i loooove being pregnant" for the past 8 and a half months. ok so maybe i've said that i love being pregnant because i don't have to suck my gut in to hide a tummy pouch, and for the fact that i can eat anything without being guilty about the pounds i'm packing. LOL. but other than that, the nausea, back pains, swollen hands and feet, stretch marks and limited sleeping positions have not exactly sent me into dreamy oblivion.

maybe this whole non-glowy attitude towards pregnancy naturally follows the fact that i was not the sort of little girl that dreamt about her future wedding and kids type.

don't get me wrong though, i HAVE gone crazy over maternity and baby shopping... a trip to the mall isn't complete without something for the baby. and our little apartment is now slowly running out of space because of the baby furniture and a whole cabinet devoted to her.

ack! but still no name for her. there are currently 3 names i've printed in big bold letters and stuck to the fridge... name studies if you will. LOL. we're trying to see if visual reminders can help us decide. hahaha.

we're on our last prenatal class this week and so far, we've learned a LOT. especially since we'll be on our own - no yayas, no relatives, no long line of friends. last week's topic was breastfeeding... and yikes... it's not at all like your usual breastmilk-is-best-for-babies print ad! there's a whole process to it, and it doesn't look as easy too.

judging from the thread of emails from an e-group of newlyweds, seems that there's a huge difference between labor/birthing policies here and manila. here you're basically contained in one room - you give birth in it, the baby stays with you, and you are given a cabinet full of supplies that you will need (cloth diapers, sanitary pads, all sorts of bandages). you get a one time session with a nurse who will teach you how to bathe and diaper a baby, and to breastfeed. that's about it. unless your baby needs an incubator or some sort of special care, she doesn't need to go to the nursery. and most significant of all, breastfeeding is highly encouraged. within the hour after birth, and presumably after she is weighed, clothed, and given a vitamin k shot, she is given back to the mom (who at this point, has already gone to the shower) for breastfeeding. talk about speedy recovery as an expectation. no maarte moms here who can complain that they hurt all over, or are too sore and tired to do anything else!

but i digress. back to the lack of shiny, happy, glowy pregnancy hormones.

maybe i'm just worried about transitioning into the mommy category... i really don't want to screw up this kid's life, or make her into a spoiled monster. or maybe it's because i've watched too much "Shalom In The Home", "Nanny 911", and "Supernanny" - where kids are unruly and disrespectful, to the point that their parents have given up on them (either that or the moms end up yelling all day). i just hope aldo and i do this whole parenting thing right, and that our kid growing up in a different culture from ours will not be a source of a screw-up.

1 more week and i'm considered full term. plus 2 more weeks after that to wait til my water breaks. yikes, where did the time go???