at random

i once believed that friends were like security blankets, and that all you had to do was reach for it to find security. but in the real world, people grow up, grow apart, and remain to grow in different pots.

in planning my wedding, i found myself retracing my steps - back to buried bad memories of college, realizing the value of real friendship, and moving forward without adolescent guilt and paranoia.

the past year and a half have been a whirl of mixed emotions - highs, lows, and everything in between - not only because aldo's away, but because i've been dealing with my past, present, and what lies ahead.

take my fresh start with C - i am surprised that this opportunity to get to know her again has ironically given me a stronger sense of belonging to my bangkok life, as opposed to a childhood yearning of getting my best friend back from the evil stepsisters who have brainwashed her - or so i thought. lesson learned - you can't bring back the past, moreso resucitate a friendship that has apparently lived out its lifespan.

i've realized that the friends you've made at the briefest of encounters also count because at the time you need them the most, they will be the quickest at your side.

there's M and J who have instantly accepted their roles at our wedding even if they have to fly to manila between hectic schedules.

there's M, P, and A, who, even if they're only guests, have already notified me of their travel schedules.

and then there's family. who would have thought that uncles, aunts, and cousins whose last visit to manila was 6 years ago would arrange their travel arrangements to make it to our wedding.

with all these people around on my wedding day... how the hell am i supposed to walk down the aisle without sobbing?

argh. aldo has to cry first so i can win our iPod bet.